IT’S YOUR FAULT? – OWN IT!

Hey there darlings! Let’s have a little bit of English 101 lecture. Today’s topic is on vocabulary and our word of the day is;

BRAVE – it could be an adjective, a noun or verb BUT whatever form it takes, it is associated with facing and enduring something without showing fear.

SYNONYMS; courageous, heroic, daring, fearless, bold.

EXAMPLE; He initiated the fight and he was brave to accept his fault.

Now, to the part that brought us all here;

Being brave doesn’t always have to be associated with killing a cockroach, singing on stage in front of a billion people or going to fight someone 100x bigger and stronger than you. It could also be something as simple as accepting your faults or mistakes, you know, taking “the blame” for what you did.

I’m not here to give a full sermon on how to own up to your mistakes or faults. We’re all matured adults here (I’d like to think that), so i’m sure we all have an idea just that most of us hate to put it to practice. I’m just here to highlight or give a little insight to the topic, what i’m saying is, I won’t be boring anyone with too much details. Hopefully, lol.

They’re people that try to justify why they did a particular thing and they make it seem like the other partner was at fault or is the only one at fault- like if you didn’t say that, i wouldn’t have done this, so don’t blame me, it’s all you. Let’s call them justifiers – and these justifiers come in different ranks.

  • CHIEF JUDGE; these people don’t even own up to anything, all they know is they’re in the right – oopz! sorry. “always” in the right. They hit all the blame to the other party with their mallet. Who are you to call them out and say they’re wrong? Are you insane? ex; Mr. C: Mr B what you did to Mr A was terrible. Mr. B: I didn’t do anything wrong. If Mr. A didn’t bash my car, I wouldn’t have broken his fingers. Mr. C: it was an accident. Mr. B: well, that’s his business. Next time he should be careful.
  • DEFENDANT: these people may plead guilty but will still come up with an excuse for their action and most times, the excuse they give is actually pointing a finger at the other party. So what they’re actually saying is “okay, I admit. I was wrong but you can’t really blame me though. I called you a cheap whore but if you weren’t acting like one maybe I wouldn’t have.” So basically, it’s really your fault and not really theirs. Would you say they’re genuinely sorry about something they did wrong? Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not?
  • SHIELDS: These people also accept their faults, maybe genuinely sorry and may even try to better the situation but they never understand why the other party took it too personal especially if they meant it as a joke. What they forget is that people are built differently, not everyone is hardcore. So they’re still kind of making an excuse for their actions. Ex; I’m sorry I called you fat in front of everyone but I meant it as a joke, you know in a good way. I didn’t think you’ll take it personal because honestly it’s not that deep. I shouldn’t have called you fat and i’m so sorry but you shouldn’t have taken it personal. This is them telling you stop being a cry baby and let’s move on.

The true purpose of owning up to something is not to point fingers at anyone or telling them what and what not to take personal. You may have meant it as a joke but not everyone has your mindset and you shouldn’t guilt trip them for not being like you. Don’t make anyone feel like they don’t have the right to be angry at you because you’re Queen Bee or King Kunta. Don’t try to point out their own wrong doings even if they were part of the problem. Them not accepting theirs shouldn’t even be your problem, just accept yours and remember you can only control your own actions, not anyone else’s.

Many people think that accepting they’re at fault shows a sign of weakness – makes them less of an alpha and exposes their vulnerability. But honey, scratch that out because I’m here to tell you that instead, it shows maturity (makes you a bigger person), it gives you a sense of inner peace and this may not seem true or you may not have noticed it but it commands respect – have you ever heard someone say; ” I admire him/her because s(he) owns up to his/her mistakes”? – honey, that is the respect I’m talking about, it makes people view you in a heroic way.

Instead of being petty and playing the-pass-the-blame-game, let’s do the mature and responsible thing by standing and owning up to our mistakes, reflecting on our actions, accepting the repercussion, trying to ammend the situation and finally moving on. Being able to own up to our faults, shows strength, courage and self-awareness and when someone tries to correct us, let’s not be defensive but be open to learning. Let’s be brave!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT; Not all heroes wear capes and body tights, some just dress casually and own up to their faults.

I wish everyone a good and peaceful life. Love, Deohay.

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