Errr…..I’m sorry to disappoint those who are thinking this is about how to better your relationship with your spouse, find a spouse, or even how to find a husband for the extremists. I’m also looking for a husband by the way, you know, just in case you find a spare Dangote’s son lying around somewhere. Anyway, this is just going to address a few flaws we have in our normal daily relationship with others. And yes, I also make these mistakes, so don’t worry, I’m not little miss perfect trying to change the world…I’m learning from this too.
First of all, let’s start with something as simple as accent upgrade on meetings with other people. This is getting a bit too rampant and has to be addressed. I know a handful of people who obtain a British or an American accent from Jupiter when they meet someone they’re not so accustomed to. The 0-100 switch is just mind blowing. I mean, It’s a different case when one can actually fake these accents well, at least we know the only thing we’re dealing with is trying to make them stick to their natural tone of voice….But when your faked accent is terrible, then there’s a serious problem. Please, people, it’s understandable that you’re trying to come off as posh (do people still use this word?), but they’re a lot of ways to talk normally and still appear very much classy. In this case, I think it’s a lot more about what you say anyway, than how you sound saying it.
Secondly, one should try to know a little of everything. I feel there’s nothing as beautiful as having something sensible to contribute in a discussion with people. There’s no way you can know about everything, obviously…but if you have one or 2 ideas about it, you’re good to go. However, in a situation where you appear bored when people are discussing sports, music and politics, but when the topic of food comes up, your interest level rises to 100%…….A little extra knowledge never hurt anybody.
Lastly, I’ll just address our attitude towards others. Most people hide under the phrase of “that’s just how I am’’ when dealing with others. Nope, that’s not how you are. Biko, you weren’t born with that overtly sassy attitude, or the excess ego you walk around with. It was learned and it can be unlearned. Try to treat people the way you’d want them to treat you. It’s okay to ‘jam’ people with a few comebacks now and then, but try to find a balance. Don’t overdo it, especially not with issues as controversial as one’s weight, height or stuff that people might take personal, except of course you’re really close to the person and know that he/she won’t start considering suicide pills. Try to smile more, cut down on mood swings-it gets tiring when people always have to ask what’s wrong with you. Don’t judge a situation you’ve not been in yourself -“Mrs Z is probably always asking people for food because she doesn’t have, not because she is greedy”. Learn to give excuses for people sometimes, but again, find a balance.
Okay, it’s a wrap. Thanks for spending these few minutes of your life, or hours, or days.
WRITTEN BY MEDARA EFFIOM.